Husband says no to birth photography

Hubby said no to Birth Photography

...and here is what happened next.

When women first started telling me they would love to have a birth photographer but their husband would never allow it I’ll confess I was a bit perplexed. Was this an indirect way of saying ‘no thank you?’ or did their partners really dislike the idea of birth photography?

As I delved deeper into their concerns, these are some of the thoughts that were holding them back:

  • What if how I'm presented in the photos isn't true? 

  • What if I'm not good enough at my support role and it shows in the photos? How will she reflect on that?

  • It should be 'just us' - of course there will be medical staff, but there is something about inviting an additional person who doesn't need to be there into this sacred space.

  • There is a huge uncertainty factor in birth, what if this stranger is annoying, loud, has bad B.O and is interrupting our precious family moments? 

  • We're cultured to not let anyone take photos of us displaying vulnerability, but anyone who follows Brene Brown's work or any birthing mother knows along with vulnerability there is strength. 

Ive met with reluctant husbands/future fathers who after meeting with me, expressing their concerns and asking all of the questions, say they now see the benefits of me being there. 

We live in an age of social media, where everything is shared online. Of course when I take photos for you they are your photos to share as you please but its not the reason I do this work. For me, these photos are something precious to reflect on in years to come, when your baby hits double figures, or when they start high school or have their first kiss. You can reminisce about the night they arrived and these moments can be enjoyed for generations to come. Your great grandchildren will look in awe at these photos.

I think the more we use technology the more appreciation future generations will have for archival quality paper and timeless photographs. 

It's also worth noting that its not in my interests to take unflattering photos of you! Photography is an art, I've studied great photographs and I've made mistakes that inform my current approach. My role is the take photos that show a strong mum and her support team. I want you to look good. 

One reluctant dad turned to me after assisting with the arrival of his daughter and placing her on mamas chest  he turned to me and exclaimed "Best decision ever!"

You see, with the birth of this couples first daughter, dad had taken some iphone shots and while they will always have those photos ..

what was missing for dad was ...presence. 

So invite me in, ill respect your sacred birth space. You may not even notice I'm there and after its finished and you're home nursing a newborn a little package will arrive on your doorstep for you to relive those moments of birth. Together. 

Want to book a coffee date with me? Pop on over and send me a message.